Biased Conscience

Mankind dictates that only mankind (and great apes?) are self-conscious.  Hmm.  Plenty of people have posed the question “how do we know that, say, dolphins don’t have a conscience?”  Oppositions to such a thought (such as some anthropologists) bring up studies about how humans use tools and show specific reaction to events and blah blah blah. 

 

Mankind is so selfish that we base all of our studies from ourselves, from within our reach.  That’s actually understandable since we are human after all.  But all that we know spews from our conscious foundation.  Everything we do and consider is humanly biased.  So who can say that an ant doesn’t have a conscience because it doesn’t perform tasks or reactions seemingly the same way humans do?  Ants are on a completely different and distinct level of existence.  Perhaps they don’t have minds.  Perhaps they have something else.  Or perhaps they do have minds but they are, in human perspective, meant for labor and reproduction and nothing else and their minds are set on just that.  They are not to love and hate.  Or- perhaps they do love and hate.  And perhaps their ant emotion is indiscernible in the human mind- if the human mind even exists.

 

A true study, one that is unbiased, needs to be approached from a standpoint where all things previous to the most recent tip of this continuously evolving moment, are undone.  One must strip him- or herself completely of knowledge and start from scratch.  Of course, many say we did that when one day, BLAM, we started to think.  We realized we could balance ourselves on two feet instead of four and stood up.  But no matter how many times we start over or how long we evolve or adapt, we will have a human bias from a human conscience.  We are the center of our own universe.  That universe, however, is not the universe that exists.  It is the universe that we perceive.  And we can merely perceive it in speck.  We cannot perceive Universe as Universe.  Our allowable span of sight from the naked eye halts at the blue atmosphere about our heads.  Sometimes when I stop where I walk and look up, I can almost see the blackness of space behind the blue.  But even then, how do I know it is black?  Isn’t it, in fact, not black but just almost empty?  Is it that there is most likely, from a human perspective, nothing between me and the next object which is supposedly millions or billions of light years away?  The lack of evidence between myself and the visible object provides a lack of light and color and offers up a lonely vacancy. 

 

In order for me to say “this is true” and “that is not,” I must first perceive the universe and all existence as Universe and Existence.  I must become such things to understand such things.  To know if an ant loves and hates I must be born an ant and at some point experience ant love and ant hate.  And yet, I also must at some point and in some way be human and have human perception in order to notate and accept that ants actually do love and hate.  And there needs to be another human to perceive my perception.  Otherwise, the ant would have the same words to write in its ant computer, wondering if those really tall things that lumber around, stepping on ant hills, love and hate.  It seems that in order for something to be true and accepted as such, something other than what is being considered must determine that that thing is true and accepted. 

 

It really doesn’t matter in the scheme of things, though.  For me to know that ants experience love and hate really doesn’t change anything.  Sure, I may get a better idea of “things.”  Knowledge is a wonderful article to have access to.  But what good will it do me to know that the ant I just stepped on was having a good day until I came around?  Maybe I can settle on the thought that if I know that the ant I murdered had feelings then I could study their species for the next million years in hopes that one day I’ll be able to communicate with them.  Maybe at that point they can share some pertinent information on saving this planet that we humans are destroying.  Maybe they know something we don’t.  They are much closer to the earth than we are. 

 

Well, as far as I can tell, I will always be human.  I will never graduate to Universe and / or Existence.  I am part of both, but not the whole of either.  I can tap into both and tap out of both.  Perhaps when the flesh of me is yielded back to where it was sprung from I may become a larger part of both.  But for now, I am human.  I have limitations.  My limitations are self-inflicted because I am human and have accepted that I can only do human things.  Even in my deepest meditation my exterior experiences are still human because I am still attached in some form to myself.  Maybe if I keep telling myself over and over again for the next 30 years, 8 months and 4 days (exactly 1 day longer than I am currently in motion from my mother’s matrix) I might convince myself that I am not human and will become Universe and / or Existence.  But for 30 years, 8 months and 3 days I have been told and have told myself that I am flesh, bone and conscience.  And everything I see and know and feel is connected by that triangle- 2 points flesh and 1 point metaphysical.

 

I will gladly meditate on that for the next 30+ years.  But I love my Starbucks.  I love running and golf.  I love to write meaningless essays and blogs.  I love the forest and the changing seasons.  I love to love and love to hate (otherwise, love wouldn’t be so special).  To watch a baby do its thing is precious.  To hold someone’s hand and walk with them through our favorite city is beyond words.

 

I need to be human.  I like it here.  And I think I’ll stick around for a good stroll.  Every once in a while I’ll wave to Existence and maybe even share a coffee with Universe.

 

By the way, sorry ant.  I didn’t see you there- really.